Becoming an Advocate for Your Aging Parents

Mother and daughter hugging
September 21st, 2023

As our parents age, we often notice subtle changes in their daily lives. They may seem to be slowing down, facing challenges they didn’t before, or even struggling with decision-making. In these moments, our natural instinct is to ensure their well-being and happiness, especially when they may not be entirely certain of their own needs.

However, approaching this delicate subject and initiating conversations with your aging parents can be daunting. Yet, advocating for their best interests is essential. In this blog, we’ll explore the role of an advocate for aging parents and provide guidance on how to effectively fulfill this crucial responsibility.

Pay Attention

The journey of being an advocate begins with keen observation. When you notice changes in your parent’s behavior or health, resist the temptation to brush them off as a bad day or passing ailment. These alterations could be indicative of more significant issues brewing beneath the surface.

Make it a habit to document your observations and monitor these concerns over time. This information will be invaluable when discussing matters with your parents and other family members, if applicable.

Talk to Your Parents

Effective advocacy hinges on a deep understanding of your parents’ desires and preferences. Engage in candid conversations with them about their wishes and concerns, covering a wide range of topics from caregiving arrangements to end-of-life decisions.

If you’ve noticed changes in their well-being or cognitive function, broach these topics with sensitivity and compassion. Ensure that their wishes are clear, especially if cognitive decline is a concern, and document these conversations for future reference.

Designate an Advocate

Appointing a trusted individual as the primary advocate and point of contact for your aging parents can streamline communication and decision-making processes. This designated advocate need not shoulder the entire responsibility alone but should serve as the central point for emergencies, questions, or concerns. This ensures that everyone involved in your parents’ care has a single, reliable contact person, reducing confusion and saving precious time.

Attend Appointments

To be an effective advocate, you must stay informed. Attend your parents’ medical appointments to acquire firsthand knowledge about their health status and treatment plans. Additionally, act as a bridge between your parents and medical professionals, translating complex medical information into understandable terms. Your presence can also offer emotional support, especially if your parents are anxious or uncertain about their medical conditions.

Constant Communication

Maintain ongoing communication with all stakeholders involved in your parents’ well-being, including family members, medical personnel, caregivers, and even legal and financial advisors. Regularly update these individuals on your parents’ condition and any changes in their needs or preferences. Email updates can be a practical means of sharing information, and face-to-face meetings may be necessary for more in-depth discussions.

Always Be Asking

In situations involving aging parents, questions are constant, and answers are invaluable. Stay proactive by continuously seeking information and updates. Aging-related issues can evolve rapidly, so maintaining a thorough understanding of the situation ensures that you can provide timely and accurate updates to others when necessary.

Always Be Learning

Every aging journey is unique, and conditions may vary. To be an effective advocate, invest time in learning about your parents’ specific challenges and what may lie ahead. Stay abreast of developments in medical treatments and care options. The more informed you are, the better equipped you’ll be to advocate for your parents’ well-being and to address any inquiries from concerned family members or healthcare professionals.

Seek Advice

Recognize that you can’t be expected to possess all the answers. Seek professional advice when needed and consider consulting with others who have experienced similar situations within your community or network. A fresh perspective and expert guidance can provide valuable insights and peace of mind.

Additionally, for added peace of mind and immediate access to medical assistance, you might explore the option of a medical alert system. This can offer your parents a lifeline in emergencies, with you as their designated contact for immediate notifications.

Being an advocate for your aging parents is a multifaceted role that demands attention, compassion, and ongoing education. By actively engaging with your parents, maintaining open communication, and seeking support and information from various sources, you can fulfill your vital role as an advocate while ensuring your parents receive the care and support they need as they age gracefully.